My nutty teacher quit. I didn't even have time to doanything. He just walked in, face red and looked at us all and walked out.

ON THE PLUS SIDE! i got out of school early!

SCHOOL IS BACK

Hehehehe....

It SUCKS! but i am still on top. No Mr. Turtle, but I do have a teacher who's name sounds like a broken egg, and one who it slow minded.....eather that or just prendends not to get my jokes...

I did however, walk to in Mr. Turtle's class and go "Sorry I'm Late!"......Yup....He STILL can't take a joke! I yelled "JUST KIDDING" as he was yelling something at me....I doubt it was enllish!

No time to spell check....sorry (not really)

Sat. Aug 12, 2006 - Adventures in Babysitting.

(I don't know if the times are correct, but I knew it's make for a easier / funnier read if I did it in parts.)

Lesson learned: What comes around, goes around. and Respect your mother-you don't understand the hell she goes though until you live it.

8:45 - I woke up and started to get ready. You see, Today (Sat) I was going to baby sit for my best friend's mother. A 7 year old and a 6 year old. They are brothers,and where in a earlier post I might have said something about them, but they come from a bad family. There mother didn't care, and neglected them so bad. By the time my friends family got them they were in bad shape. So over the few years they lived with my friends family they have been trying to help them, however both boys are a bit wild. I however though the one thing no one should ever think when going in to something like this......What's the worse that can happen?

9:30 - 10:30 - My friend's mom leaves for work and I am left alone with them. Mark (7) told me about playing Monopoly at day care. I was impressed and started a game with him. David (6) wanted to play to, However he can't read and has trouble counting. So I had to help him play. We had fun and about 40 + mins into the game I was losing. YES, I was losing! Mark was winning, he had the....luck....of the Irish or something! He rolled doubles and keep getting two turns almost everything he went....then as i was saying about 40 or so mins into the game it was his turn, and he rolled and one of the dice feel off the table. the dice on the table read a 2. I told him to roll again. He did and got two 2s. I made up a quick (bs) rule about you have to roll the dice on the board and had him roll one more time.....two 2s....HE CHEATED! The seven year old brat was scamming me! no wonder i was getting my ass handed to me!  He would put the dice in his hand and leave his hand open enough the dice sounded as if he was shaking them, but he wasn't, and he would drop them in a way it looked like he was tossing them down but he was making them land on what he needed. The David started crying b/c he was losing and Mark cheated. So we put the game away.

10:30-12:00 - As i put away the game, David told me his fish was sick and needed him. (They have 3 gold fish and one was davids) I told him the fish was fine and to go play. So they put in a movie....Spongbob. OMG! I hate spongbob! So about 11:30 i told them to put in a new movie. Bob the Builder! (What is it with kids and Bobs?) about noon i started to fix lunch. PB&J and apples! So we ate and they told me about there club house and i agreed to go in to woods with them and see it.

12:45 - 1:15 - I'm takeing these two kids in the woods and we find this group of rocks. That's there club house....a pile of rocks. So we hang out there for about 20 mins until i hear something eles in the woods. I'm thinking it's the pet dog. Then i see it...this round, brown beaver, groundhog, gopher thing. Ipull the boys out of the woods just KNOWING if we stayed it would attack and i'm be known as the kid killer.  This job was made harder when they wanted to set a trap for it.

1:15 - 2:00 - I got them to play in the drive way. Mark rode his bike and David looked for bugs (Eww). I was playing with Mark, he was the bad guy and i was the cop, and he was trying to get away, when i noted that David was being every quite and still. So i walked over and about about to ask him what he was doing when i noted he was pulling the legs off of grass hoppers. I make him leave them alone, but he keep trying to make then move or crawl or scare them. I make him stop and told him to leave them alone and let them go off and die in peace! Then he started crying and he was upset b/c he killed them...I'd traumatized the kid! I'm am doing everything i know of on how to calm his down when.......it never fails......Guess who showed up....

2:00 - 2:10 - I am best friends with these boy's older sister, they also have a older brother, who is the same age as Matthew (my younger brother, 11). Apparently there brother and my brother where spending the day together. and My FATHER, was dropping him off. So my Dad gets out of the car and ask me what i'm doing and why the kid's crying. when He finds out i'm baby sitting he laughs at me and leaves....yup! now i have something to prove!

2:30 -3:30 - Inside. The two boys are playing cars (David would every now and then tell me his fish needs him), there brother is in his room playing video games. Ever now and then the boys would come over fighting over who's car was who's and i'd taken it from them and hold on to it until they could agree. Then they came up fighitng over who's car this little black one is. the werid thing...that i didn't pick up on was...David said it was Marks...Mark said it was david's. Another thing that i heard but didn't take to heart was David saying it was Marks b/c it had the sider on it.....You already know where this is going......I reached over and took it. David said spider on it and i had though....painted on. NO...he ment as in spider guts on it...I drop the car and look at my hand and O.....MY....GOODNESS......a spider leg was there along with goo! I gave a little yell and ran to the bathroom and drowned my hand in soap and water....however, as i was washing my hand for the 3rd time i hear Mark yell. "DAVID NO!" and i ran out of the bathroom.....

3:30 - 4:00 - DAVID HAD THE FISH OUT OF THE WATER AND WAS DRYING HIM OFF! I ran over and got the fish in water and was trying to make sure the fish was alive when i hear behind me. "He needs more water!" I turn to tell David no and....woosh! I'm soaked! the foor is soaked and everything is. David had hit me with a cup of water. a big cup. Time out was to good for him. however it was the only thing i could do.

4:00 -5:00 the last hour and i'm makeing them clean up there toys (I got the water). The hour went by fast and when there Dad got there i met him in the drive way, said the boys where good and left for work.....

If i ever baby sit them agian i will go in ready for battle and in a team....i think 3 people to each boy would be good!

THE PLAN!

Subject: THE PLAN!!!!

Love Robin Williams!!!!!!  Something to think about!!!

The Plan!

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says "I love New York" in Arabic.

You gotta love Robin Williams......Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good 'ole' boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "

psychological warfare

Ok, in this ‘post’ I have a lot to say so just bare with me.

Phobia. What is a Phobia? An abnormal and persistent fear.

What is my phobia? Spider-phobia….. I have the HUGEEST fear of spiders.

Ok…here is what happened:

*Does white wavy lines to show flash back*

I got off work @ 10:30 and went home and dropped right in to bed. I turned on my I-pod and started playing the album ‘Mind: art of Meditation’ / ‘Spirit: Art of healing’ (there is a Body: Art of something, but I can’t find the CD to down load on to the ipod). Basically these are classical songs with the sound of a creek or wind playing with them that people use to calm the mind and yadda yadda, I used them to fall asleep…..

So I lay there, light on, I-pod playing to tune out my brother, and work clothes still on. Finally I am about to drift to sleep. I turn my head a little to look for the remote to my fan/light (Yeah, lazy I know) when out of the corner of my eye I see a shadow move across the bed. I sit up and look and OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

IT WAS THE SPIDER! Not A spider, but THE spider….if you read my Friday, June 23, 2006, you know I had a run in with ‘the’ spider, same color and size, where I destroyed the living room trying to kill this thing and he got away, then about 3 or 4 days before my b-day I was sitting on the couch and my feet on the table and it ran across my feet and I once again lost it…..

But now….here it was….in my room and on my bed! ON! And not even on the side of my bed, but on the top and by the pillow!!

In the words of Bugs Bunny “Of course you know, this means war….”

I grab the closest thing to me and attack! He ran down the side and jumped….jumped!...onto my comforter… here lies the trouble….black spider on black comforter. 

HE ELUDED ME AGAIN! But…..I was not going to let him win….not this time!

I took my I-pod and turned it to Mortal Kombat, and then got armed up. You know the action movies where the super heroes get armed up. Lock on there belts and stuff. That was me, Armed with a steak knife (NOT sure why I had this….) and a can of Carpet Stain remover. I know what your thinking….Stain remover? Yes, It shoots out and blast the stain to loosen up the hard to get out stain, there for it I spray the spider, it will stun him and I can crush him!

I move my fold out chair by my door and wait. It was about mid-night.

4:40 AM…..I spot him! Over my window, near the top of the room,  and moving to the corner of the room that is over my bed…..over my head where I sleep!

I look away for one second to grab the cleaner spray and look up…..DAMN HIM!

I have a dream catcher in my room and over my bed. Handmade by someone close to me, and HUGE, and the spider is on it…I can’t mess up the dream catcher by spraying or crushing him on it so I spend five min trying to move him off it….

Finally he moves! Heading to the corner, the top most corner of the room, I go to spray him but he crawls into a crack…….enlighten dawns….a crack in the wall that leads to a (fake) fireplace….it was how he moved between rooms…I sprayed all in the .0001 inch hole, it was so small I had to get a straw and use it as a tube to make the spray go in…

So, I officially was NOT sleeping, so I moved my chair to my bed and sat there until 8 am before going to a different room to sleep on the couch. While I sat there I knew I needed a name for my nemesis. Being he seemed to like my dream catcher I though of some Native American names…

In the End I went with spot. Because I though up some VERY kewl names and this nemesis didn’t earn a cool bad guy name.

I’ve yet to see Spot again….but I will….one day…